Moon Lakeans

It takes a special breed of people to live’n thrive in the Lake. I don’t claim native status. Much like a Northerner that clings to their identity as a Yankee even though they’ve lived longer in Florida than anywhere else. With this simple guide to the mannerisms and markings of, u too can identify the various breeds of Moon Lakeans.
The Hick Lakean: This species can usually be spotted between noon and 3am lounging in a recliner on the porch of a double wide. A generic beer will be prominent in one hand, while a buffalo cigar droops from their mouth. Common mating call of the Hick Lakean: a sharp piercing whistle.
The WannabG Lakean: This breed can easily be identified by what they wear. Pant’s will be secured somewhere below the waist and knees, displaying a variety of colorful boxers. On their chest will be a white tank top (commonly known as the wife beater) decorated with various gold and silver chains. Common mating call of the WannabG “Wazzup dog.”
The Swamp Lakean: These original natives are rare and difficult to spot. This is do to the large amount of army fatigues they wear which allows them to blend into the foliage.  Characterized by the ability to name every plant, animal, and mythical monster that inhabits Moon Lake, these hardy species can survive in all conditions of weather, are able to track wild animals and can usually be spotted deep within the swamp. Common mating call of the Swamp Lakean: “I wanna check u for ticks.”
So grab a camera and armed with these rules of thumb, find your own Moon Lakean.

U must brave the dawn to catch a glimpse of the endangered Swamp Lakean.