Happy Turkey Day from the Little White Devil

I plan on being to stuffed to blog tomorrow so I’m getting my holiday greetings in early. You’re probably wondering about the little white devil. Isn’t he sooo cute? Wait, is he wearing a pilgrim‘s hat? And what’s under his arm, is that a turkey? Yes. Somewhere along the production line a native american decided to make a statement in the form of a stuffed toy. One of my nieces gave this to me, it came out of a claw machine of all places. I think it’s freaking hilarious; a lot of my friends just don’t get it. But after being programmed in elementary school with construction paper turkey hands and thanksgiving pageants to believe we all just got along, I suppose I can’t blame them. As for me, in junior high when most kids were tuning out their history teachers I was listening with growing horror to the truth of what happened. Ever since I’ve been on the fence about thanksgiving. I like the holiday (love the food, yum), believe it’s a good thing to have a day just to be thankful for all u’ve got, but feel guilty for celebrating a holiday that to this day native americans protest. And who can blame them? If their ancestors had known how it would all turn out, I think it would have gone a little differently. More than likely the native’s would have been shooting arrows instead of sharing maize.
Happy Thanksgiving!

If Fish Had Fur

I was hanging out w/some friends in the swamp and the topic came up. I don’t remember where it started or how it ended but the meat of the conversation is still fresh enough to recall. Fishing is a past time of many a swamp lakean. It’s free and provides both benefits of entertainment and the honing of the lakean’s survival skills. As the wife of one, I’ve spent many countless nights on a fishing pier. The atrocities I have seen committed in the name of catching the big one are unparallel and as I pointed out to my friends, if fish had fur then every fisherman would be serving life for animal cruelty. Ask one and they’ll tell you the best bait is live bait. That one of the surest ways to catch a shark is to cut the tail off a bait fish and send it alive on the hook back into the water. Can u picture it? Now replace that image with a warm blooded mammal and all of a sudden you’ve got a felony. How bout catch and release? Imagine a hunter wounding a deer enough to bring down but not enough to kill then letting it loose again. Completely unacceptable, right? Not for our scaly friends. So the next time you see a cute kid with a fishing pole remember if fish had fur this kid would be a felon.

Baby sand shark abducted then released

Swamp Pics

I took a trek into the woods today to see what I could see and this is what I found.

The wind was kicking and as the trees cracked and popped around us, I found this fallen cypress.

Could this be the natural habitat of the Swamp Lakean? U be the judge.

Moon Lakeans

It takes a special breed of people to live’n thrive in the Lake. I don’t claim native status. Much like a Northerner that clings to their identity as a Yankee even though they’ve lived longer in Florida than anywhere else. With this simple guide to the mannerisms and markings of, u too can identify the various breeds of Moon Lakeans.
The Hick Lakean: This species can usually be spotted between noon and 3am lounging in a recliner on the porch of a double wide. A generic beer will be prominent in one hand, while a buffalo cigar droops from their mouth. Common mating call of the Hick Lakean: a sharp piercing whistle.
The WannabG Lakean: This breed can easily be identified by what they wear. Pant’s will be secured somewhere below the waist and knees, displaying a variety of colorful boxers. On their chest will be a white tank top (commonly known as the wife beater) decorated with various gold and silver chains. Common mating call of the WannabG “Wazzup dog.”
The Swamp Lakean: These original natives are rare and difficult to spot. This is do to the large amount of army fatigues they wear which allows them to blend into the foliage.  Characterized by the ability to name every plant, animal, and mythical monster that inhabits Moon Lake, these hardy species can survive in all conditions of weather, are able to track wild animals and can usually be spotted deep within the swamp. Common mating call of the Swamp Lakean: “I wanna check u for ticks.”
So grab a camera and armed with these rules of thumb, find your own Moon Lakean.

U must brave the dawn to catch a glimpse of the endangered Swamp Lakean.

The Swamp Life's Little Suprises

My husband walks into the house this morning proclaiming there’s a possum sleeping in our garbage. I’m not really fazed by the news, after all it’s happened before. As I begin to message my friend about our little house guest. I’m struck by an insight, grab the camera and get a pic. This is perfect fodder for the blog.
So without further adieu I present the marsupial in our trash.